• Debra Bowser

Journaling Isn't For Keeners



I always have aspirations of journaling my life (and to knit, but that’s another day), but then life happens… Repeat the next day… nope. It never gets done. So, is journaling only for keeners? Those overachievers who always seem to have they’re crap together?

I have little snippets of my life journaled. It seems to be when life is handing me 10 pounds of crap in a five pound bag, or when my life is full of roses and honey. The two extremes. But when life is normal and boring, it’s too normal and boring to journal.

BUT, this is what happens when you journal during a normal day… a normal day of pregnancy, but still a hum-drum day… digging a little deeper on the emotional scale and talking to my baby. During my first pregnancy, I journaled four times. Four times. The most significant and life-changing season of my life and I journaled barely a hand-full of times. But in those moments, it was an outlet to keep me sane when I was feeling overwhelmed.

Aug 2002, Week 29: You so quickly became who I am. A little miracle inside me – a surprise – a joy. I can feel you; our little secret. You are so strong. When I put my hand on you, you respond and sometimes will relax and go to sleep… I pray that I have nourished you and helped you be strong and healthy. It amazes me that I am growing you… that God chose ME to hold you inside me while He does His work to mold you, to know you, and to map out your life…

Years have passed, but when I read my words now, the memories are clear and I’m carrying my son inside me once again. Moments that can never be taken away from me. Moments that are only mine. My thoughts. My prayers. My hopes and dreams for my little one. I look at my 13-year old son now and it is surreal; he is the one I was talking to growing inside me.

Journaling helps to sort out thoughts, fears, loves, angers, hopes, decisions. In the moment, writing everything down is an outlet to release a bucket of irrational brains so you can leave it and pick it up another day. It’s an emotional filing cabinet, available to categorize and neatly fill instead of throwing your emotional clutter in the corner.

So those keeners who are journaling probably do have their crap together, or are on their way to sorting things out. If you have pregnancy thoughts, fears, loves, angers, hopes, and decisions, pick up a pen (I prefer a pencil) and start writing. It’s a gift to you. You’re worth it! And believe me… worth every word.

#DebraBowser #Journal #Birth #Pregnancy #Gift #Baby #FirstYear

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